


What if

by remadora_ftw



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-01-24 01:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1586306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remadora_ftw/pseuds/remadora_ftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I couldn't accept their deaths so I thought about what if Tonks and Remus survived and lived a happy life together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Tonks could not stay at home. She had tried and failed. Knowing that she may never see Remus again – she couldn’t live with it. Even though she found it difficult to leave her son at home, she had decided to follow her husband. For a better future.

As she climbed in the Room of Requirement from the secret passage, she met Harry.  
"I thought you were supposed to be with Teddy at your mother’s?"  
"I couldn’t stand not knowing- ," Tonks looked anguished, "She’ll look after him - Have you seen Remus?"  
"He was planning to lead a group of fighters into the ground -"  
Without another word, Tonks sped off.  
- _Let him be okay, let him be okay_ \- she kept repeating in her head as she ran through the castle to get to the grounds.

When she got there she was looking for Remus and found him a few meters away fighting with Dolohov. It was a balanced battle and while she considers whether she should help him, she heard a voice behind him.  
"There is my oh-so-great niece Dora." Tonks turned to look her aunt in the eye. "You have no right to call me that!"  
"Do you honestly believe I'm interested in how you want to be called? Why are you even here and not at your home with your brat? Not that it would bother me. At least now I have the chance to get you out of the way once and for all. What I do then is yet to be seen. Maybe I should take the time to talk with my dear sister about what you have to do as a Black. I haven’t really had the cha-"  
"Stupefy," said Tonks, but Bellatrix dodged away and started laughing.  
"Considering that you're an Auror, I have expected a little more from you! Impedimenta!"  
Tonks parried the curse, and shortly after they dueled to the death.

Remus felt as if he fought for an eternity with Dolohov. At the beginning the battle was balanced, but Remus noticed how his reactions went slow. On two occasions he was nearly hit by a curse. - _Get a grip. You can defeat him. He may be younger than you. That means he is probably faster, but you have more experience. If you lose, you will never see Teddy again. Or Dora_. - These thoughts were what helped him. When it seemed hopeless, they reminded him why he did what he did and helped him to find a way out.  
At some point he noticed a movement on his right and a brief squint in that direction told him that it was Bellatrix. - _Hi Bellatrix. Nice to see you in a duel without having the upper hand. If I had time, I would prefer to- what the. .. Why is Dora here? Why can’t this woman even listen to me once? Merlin. Okay concentrate on you Dolohov. Everything is okay. Jag him a few curses on his neck. Make it safe. Do not pay attention to Dora. And stop thinking about it.  
_ But he did not get to cast a curse. Dolohov had hit him with a curse, so he was thrown backwards and struck his head against a stone and everything around him went black.

The duel between Tonks and her aunt was characterized by anger and took them both over the ground. Tonks noticed how they went closer to Remus, who fought bitterly with Dolohov. She couldn’t tell who of them had a better chance, but she hoped that it was Remus. She also hoped that he would not be distracted, should he notice her.

But this hope did not last long.  
When she and Bellatrix fought beside Remus and Dolohov, Tonks could see that Remus was distracted very well. _Remus. Concentrate on Dolohov, not me. Maybe I should also rather concentrate on my duel._  
While Tonks thought that she ducked out of another curse of her aunt and saw out of the corner of her eye how Remus was taken by Dolohov’s curse.  
Shocked, she let her wand sink. But although she was no longer with her thoughts in their duel, she was able to hear what her aunt was doing.  
"Avada Kedavra" shouted Bellatrix.  
But she did not hit Tonks. She had ducked away, as to why the curse hit Dolohov, who fell over with a surprised expression.  
Bellatrix was also surprised, so Tonks had the opportunity to set her out of action with a full body brace curse.  
While her aunt was falling, Tonks turned around and ran to her husband, who lay motionless for a few meters away on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is chapter one of 13 I have written so far. in 2 years. this is sad but you are lucky because you can get like one chapter each week and maybe by then I finished chapter 14.  
> if you can't wait to continue reading, I posted it on ff.net as well (same username same story-title because why think of something else)  
> yeah idk you can give me ideas and I'll see if I can fit it in there (as much ideas I have there are like years between planned plots and I don't know if I should just skip them and pretend it never happened or write some short chapter things ^^)


	2. Two

_Be okay. Be okay. Be okay. -_ Tonks repeated those wordsover and over again in her head as she hurried to Remus.  
As soon as she had arrived at Remus, she fell to her knees and bends over him.  
When she saw that his chest rose and fell a stone fell from her heart. But only for a short time because then she realized the wound on his temple.  
 _Great. What do I do now? Think Tonks. I learned a healing spell in my training. And of course I can’t remember when I need it. Damn._  
While she thought frantically how she could help her husband, she noticed someone approaching. Without really thinking she conjured a shield so she didn't have to deal with that now.  
Fortunately soon afterwards she remembered the spell and was able to heal Remus’ wound.

 

As Tonks noticed how quiet it was she looked up. She could not really estimate if she liked what she saw.  
All people who had fought a duel recently, were gone.  
But before she could think about it, she noticed Neville, who came up to her and she let the shield disappear.  
As soon as Neville knelt beside her, he asked: "What happened to him?"  
"He is unconscious and I cannot help him. I have no idea what to do. "  
"I would suggest bringing him into the castle to the other wounded."  
"You're good. How do I do that in your opinion? "Tonks said as she wondered what had happened actually and how much time had passed.  
“Well, I thought you’re a witch. Why don’t you just conjure a stretcher and carry him to the castle.”  
 _Oh Merlin. When was the last time I was so confused? Not even the most logical things come to mind.  
_ Tonks conjured a stretcher and with Neville's help, she placed her husband on it. Thankfully, she smiled at Neville before she made her way into the castle.

* * *

 

The first thing Remus saw, as he opened his eyes, was the worried face of his wife.  
"Hey," he said wearily.  
"Hi," Tonks smiled.  
"Why are you here?"  
"I was worried. Where should I be? "  
"No. I mean, why are you here? I've asked you to stay home. And you've decided not to listen to me. As so often. "  
Tonks looked down and kneaded her hands in her lap as she replied: “I couldn’t bear to stay at home. Mum couldn’t bear me any longer at some point. And no one was there to distract me.”  
“Teddy was there”  
“Teddy was asleep.”  
“That means if he had been awake you had stayed a home?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe. Probably.” _And then I would have never seen you again._ She added in her mind.  
"Alright. Can you tell me then, perhaps, why I have this feeling that my head will explode right away?"  
"You were distracted and Dolohov has used it and somehow thrown you against a stone. And I have learned in my training how to heal bleeding wounds, but not how to make pain disappear. "  
"And what happened to Dolohov?"  
"My beloved aunt killed him."  
"Why?"  
"Because I was quick enough to get out of the way." Tonks took a breath. "The good thing is that she did not expect that what has given me the opportunity to put her out of action -."  
"You have killed your aunt?" Remus interrupted his wife.  
"No. I've only used a body bind curse. But someone must have removed it. I just do not know who, as I have kept away of duels after that. I wouldn't have been able to concentrate anyway, because I did not know how you're doing and when you wake up again." Before Remus could have reacted somehow she continued.  
"Molly has killed Bellatrix -" Tonks looked up and saw the puzzled expression of Remus, "Do not ask me. I end up somehow losing track. As I wasn’t fully present in my thoughts, I would’ve probably not noticed anything, even if it would have been less confusing. Anyway-"  
"Dora!"  
"What?"  
“I have a headache. Be so kind and don’t tell me every unimportant detail. Please.”  
 _Even if I don’t think they’re unimportant? You asked what happened to Bellatrix._ Tonks thought.  
"Harry has destroyed Voldemort."  
"Really?"  
"Yes. But that was such a confusing thing, because-"  
“Dora. Please. You can tell me all the unimportant details, after Poppy managed to come over here so I can focus on something without having the feeling that my head will explode immediately," pleaded Remus, “Or better yet, when we are home so you can tell your Mum without having to tell it twice”, he added with a smile.  
“Okay. I think we should really get home. I bet mum already went crazy because she has no idea how we are.”  
Remus smiled.  
And as soon as Madame Pomfrey arrived and gave him a pain-relieving potion, Remus and Tonks apparated home.


	3. Three

Just as they wanted to open the front door, it was swinging open from the inside and Andromeda stood before them.  
"Thank Merlin," she said, relieved before she hugged Remus and added, "You are doing well!"  
And with that, she hugged her daughter.  
"I was so worried. I've only heard that he is dead, but I did not know about you. And I could not come to Hogwarts, because I would then have to leave Teddy aline. But I was scared that someone would coming to tell me that ... that- "  
"Mum," Tonks interrupted her mother, "everything is okay. We are doing well. We'd already been here much sooner, but Remus was injured and that cost us time. "  
"Okay", sniffled, Andromeda, "are going to tell me what happened? If I make breakfast? "  
At that moment Tonks realized how hungry she was. So she nodded, her mother disappeared into the kitchen.  
 _Where is Remus gone?_ She asked herself when she realized that she was alone in the hallway.

 

While the two women had embraced, Remus had retired. As Tonks found him, he stood in the living room in front of the cradle in which his son was sleeping.  
Tonks could tell he was thinking about something, but she did not know what.  
"What are you thinking?" She asked when she stood beside him.  
"Not much," Remus looked up and saw in her face that she did not believe him. "Everything Possible," he added, "It's really not so much that I immediately think about something at the moment. I’ve just realized that I was about to never see Teddy again. Or you. And that was kind of shocking. "  
Tonks had no idea how she should respond. So she hugged her husband and whispered, "Everything is okay."  
Remus smiled and put his chin on her head.  
"I know. It still scares me. "  
And that made Tonks smile a little, too.  
"Mum is preparing breakfast. So if you're hungry too, I would suggest that we are joining her. Then I can also tell what happened. " _At least that what I can tell ...  
_ "I must say, this is a very good idea," said Remus.

 

But just as they entered the kitchen, Teddy woke up and made himself noticeable by loud cries.  
"Hey," whispered Tonks when she had her son in her arms, "Everything is okay. Mummy's here. And look, Daddy is there too. We are also definitely not go away. "She hugged Teddy, but he made no effort to calm down.  
"Maybe he's hungry too," Remus suggested.  
 _I could’ve thought about that myself. Apparently, today is not my day when it comes to thinking logically_ thought Tonks.  
And as she sat on the sofa to breastfeed her son, Remus already went into the kitchen.

 

"Can I help you somehow?" He asked his mother-in-law, who was busy making coffee.  
"You can set the table, which is still empty, you see." _And by the way can you tell me what all happened_. Added Andromeda in her mind as she smiled at her son-in-law.  
"You want to know what happened, don’t you?” Andromeda looked at him puzzled, whereupon he grinned and added, "Although I may not be able to read minds, but I am able to interpret facial expressions. I can tell you something, but definitely less than Dora. "  
"I do not care. I just want to know something. You cannot imagine how bad it is to have absolutely no idea what happened and how your child is."  
 _Where you are right, you're right. But I don’t even want to know that._ Remus thought before he began to tell.

 

"Okay ... so when I arrived at Hogwarts, the battle was already in full swing. And have no idea how I got on the grounds. That was all a blur. I only know that I more or less suddenly faced Dolohov and tried to somehow defeat him. I think that I managed that rather less well, and then there was suddenly Dora, dueling with Bellatrix"  
Andromeda looked up in alarm.  
"And then I was distracted and the last thing I know is that I've gotten some curse of Dolohov, after which everything around me went black. When I woke up it was all over and Dora tried to tell me all at once what had happened, what had proved to be rather not so good idea, because I could not concentrate long without getting a headache. And then finally, Madame Pomfrey came with a pain-relieving potion, so we could finally got back home. And here we are. "

 

While Remus had told what he knew, Dora had come with Teddy in the kitchen and had also sat at the table. Andromeda looked eagerly looking at her daughter.  
"Be good enough to go on. Please. I would really like to know how he died and how you got rid of my sister. "  
"I would like to tell you everything, but since I was a little distracted from my concerns about Remus you have to live with the fact that it is extremely confusing and I cannot explain everything."  
Andromeda nodded impatiently, what made Tonks grin.  
"It was relative easy to get rid of my dear aunt. She wanted to kill me, missed me and hit Dolohov, after which I used the body-bend curse on her. What exactly happened then I cannot say I was busy with Remus, as I said. But I know that Harry had decided to surrender, without telling anyone. And then everyone thought he was dead, simply because Voldemort said he has killed him and no one was there who had something else to say. And then he was not dead. One of the things that I have not yet fully understood. And apparently, Voldemort either. Harry was also the opinion of Snape had always been on our side"  
Both Remus and Andromeda watched her in disbelief  
"I can't believe it really, but Harry has said that it was so and I guess we should believe him. Oh, and at the end when Voldemort uttered the killing curse something very strange happened. Even when Harry looked as if he had almost expected that. The wand that Voldemort had didn’t really belong to him but to Harry and therefore he has not killed Harry but directed against Voldemort. So you could say he has committed suicide. Oh, and Molly killed Bellatrix. "  
"Molly? The woman who loves just about everyone? "  
"Yes, Mum. Exactly. As far as I got that right Bellatrix has dueled with Ginny, Luna, and Hermione and Molly kind of jumped between them. And before you ask me any questions about more things I cannot explain: Harry has said he will drop by anytime soon. Then you can ask him everything you want to know."


	4. Four

The rest of the day passed peacefully. Most of the time the four occupants of the house Tonks-Lupin sat on the couch in the living room. There was nothing more to say and the only one, who broke the silence occasionally, was Teddy.  
And although everyone indulged in his own thoughts, Tonks noticed that her mother looked very upet.

"Mum," she asked then. "Is everything okay? You seem upset ..."  
Andromeda looked at her daughter and shrugged her shoulders.  
"I don’t know. It's just kind of weird. I know actually I should be pleased that Bella is no more. She has done so much harm after all. But she is- was after all, my sister. And even if she didn’t accept me as a member of the family, and tried everything possible to," she closed her eyes and breathed, "get rid of you and your dad, it doesn’t feel right to be happy. But it feels just as wrong to mourn her."  
 _What can I say now? I'm so absolutely no idea how I can help Mum. I'm not even sure if I understand her. After all, Bellatrix wanted to see me dead more than once. On the other hand, I never had a sister, so how can I judge my own mother. Who knows how I would react. But what do I do to make Mom feel better?  
_ Tonks sighed. "Nobody says you should be happy about it." She said, after she had thrown a view to Remus, seeking help.  
Remus looked no less helpless than his wife.  
"I think to feel like this is normal. I mean, like you said earlier, she was your sister. And although many things have happened between you that your relationship has somehow destroyed, she will always be your sister." _It's almost like when I found out that Peter is dead. Even if I have in recent years, more than once wished his death, I cannot simply forget that he was once one of my best friends. Then again, one cannot compare that with a sister, or is it? No. I knew Peter only since I was 11. Andromeda knows her sister since her birth. That's not even comparable to some extent.  
_ Remus took a deep breath: "It’s just; you shouldn’t feel guilty for something that’s not your fault.”  
"But when I am happy about it, then it is my fault."  
"I think what Remus wants to say is that you cannot control whether you're relieved or not. And if you're relieved - relieved not happy - then you should have no guilt," _What is probably easier than done... Like just about everything  
_ Andromeda managed a small smile. "Do you mind if I go to bed? I have not slept all night and I'm not young enough to stay on for ages."  
Tonks and Remus shook their heads and Andromeda disappeared up the stairs to her room.  
"Do you think Mum is right?"  
 _I have no idea ..._ "I think so. She is strong. And it is not completely alone. "  
"I hope you're right," Tonks said as she snuggled up to Remus.

* * *

Two hours later, Remus and Tonks were in Teddy's room and looked at their son. Actually they wanted to go to bed. Both stuck the day into the bone. But they looked after Teddy and now they couldn’t leave.  
"So much for: let's go to sleep," Remus said at some point.  
"Hmm," Tonks replied absently, "I just need to watch Teddy sleeping. Strange as I am. "  
"I wouldn’t say it’s strange. I do nothing else myself. But I think it is counterproductive to sleep standing up," Remus said, smiling. Then he loosened his arms from her waist, took his head from her shoulder, gave her a kiss on the temple and walked towards the door.

"Remus", the called remained in the doorway, "I'm scared," Remus turned around slowly _. Of what? What scares you?_ Before he could react further Tonks said: "What if I just dreamed it all," she pulled her eyes from Teddy "What if I wake up and it was all a dream, what if I wake up and I don’t know, Bellatrix hadn’t hit Dolohov but he-"Tonks closed her eyes, "hit you "  
The last two words of Remus could understand only with difficulty, because his wife went quiet in the end. Remus said nothing and stared in shock at the back of his wife.  
 _How do I tell what I think about it? What should I think about it? First, this idea makes no sense, I'm here, and on the other hand, this is not necessarily what to say ... if it really would be a dream, I am the last one who would notice.  
_ "Oh Dora, I wish I could help you. But I think if this was a dream, I wouldn’t notice," He said as he walked slowly to his wife, "the only way I can think of in order to know whether dreaming or not I to pinch someone. But that would be the last thing I want to do." Tonks looked at him. She seemed at once extremely vulnerable and that hurt Remus in the soul. Then he had another thought "on the other hand ... I do not think you would realize this," he gave her a kiss on the forehead, "or this" and kissed her on the nose, "or this," whereupon he kissed her on the mouth.  
Dora smiled as she returned the kiss.  
After a minute (maybe more, maybe less) they broke apart and Tonks leaned her head on Remus's chest.  
"Remus?" She asked. Her voice was barely audible as she talked more with the chest of her husband than with him. "Why can’t I have rational fears, just like normal people?"  
"Do not know. Probably because you're Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin. And obviously you aren’t like other people. But that is the reason why I love you so much. "  
"Because I'm not scared of normal things like spiders, but of dreaming?"  
"No. Because you're unique. And I don’t know why, but I don’t think this fear unfounded. I can’t explain why. But one thing I know for sure. Namely, that if I am not going to bed now, I am falling asleep standing up." _Wow, I am good in changing the topic..._  
"Hmm, sounds good to go to bed."

Another five minutes later, both were cuddled up together in their bed sleeping peacefully.


	5. five

Two days had passed and in that moment, Andromeda stood smiling in the kitchen door. Her grandson was sleeping, which had caused her daughter to lie down on the couch. And although Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin didn’t intend to sleep she did just that.  
Remus was sitting in the kitchen and read the Daily Prophet, which still reported of the defeat of Voldemort. Although the main topic today, was about who might become the next Minister of Magic.  
"Maybe you should also go to sleep." Andromeda had sat down beside her son-in-law.  
"I think I should’ve drunk less coffee if I wanted to go to bed now," Remus smiled. "It seems as Kingsley has a good chance to become the new Minister of Magic."  
"Hey. Do not just change the subject."  
"I'm sorry, but I had nothing more to say about it," Remus grinned.  
"Whatever. What would you think, if Kingsley-"  
Andromeda was interrupted when someone knocked on the door.  
"Do we expect someone?" She asked, confused.  
"As far as I know no-Well Harry more or less"  
"Oh yes, I’ll open the door then."  
Andromeda stood up and walked out of the kitchen towards the front door, while Remus went to the living room and joined his wife, who was woken up.

 "Did you sleep well?" Remus sat down next to Tonks who looked at him still a little tired.  
"I did not want to sleep. But I guess I wasn’t able to stop me falling asleep. And to be honest, I even slept very well. Thanks for asking. "Tonks smiled at her husband.“Who is Mum talking to?" She added as she heard words from the hallway.  
"I'm going for Harry."  
"Harry's here?"  
"It seems so," said Remus as Harry stood in the doorway. "Hey, Harry. How are you? "  
"Pretty good. A little stressed from all the people who want to find out what I'm doing now. Though I don’t even know that myself. So I thought: how about visiting my Godson. "  
"He's sleeping at the moment."  
"Oh, I can wait. Also, I have to tell you something either way. At least that’s what Tonks told me two days ago. It’s just that I don’t know what you guys want to hear.”  
"Actually everything." Andromeda said, before Remus and Tonks could say anything. "Because I have absolutely no idea what happened. And what Nymphadora could tell us was rather confusing. For the most part, that Voldemort thought you were dead. I never thought that you could make him believe false things. And why do you think Snape had always been on our side? As far as I've heard he killed Dumbledore. And you've told us so. Well, you didn’t tell me but other people. "  
"Oh Merlin. Out of all possible questions you chose the question with the longest answer." _Where do I start?_ Harry thought _best, I'll start with Snape's history, right? Yes._

"Okay, this may take a long time now. I've seen how Voldemort killed Snape, because he thought that this was the owner of the Elder Wand. And then once he was gone, I went to Snape, who gave me his most important memories in his last moments. As I looked in Dumbledore's Pensieve, I learned that Snape loved my mother since he was ten years old. And when he learned that Voldemort was going to kill my parents, he has begged Dumbledore to prevent that. Since then he was a spy for Dumbledore, and Voldemort thought he was spying for him. Confusing, I know, "he added as he looked into the puzzled faces of Andromeda Tonks and Remus. "Whatever. The summer before my sixth year, Dumbledore was trying to destroy a Horcrux. He managed; however, it cursed his hand. As you've surely noticed. Snape could not help prevent the spread of the curse. And so they decided that Snape had to kill Dumbledore when it comes to this.- "  
"Wait. Dumbledore had asked Snape to kill him? "Tonks interrupted Harry.  
Harry just gave her a look.  
"Sorry..."  
"Yes, Dumbledore has given Snape the order to kill him. In the end, I learned that Voldemort wanted to create six Horcruxes, but in the night, in which he failed to kill me, he created a seventh Horcrux. Namely me. So I went into the forest to face him. And as he pronounced the killingcurse, Voldemort, didn’t kill me, but that part of his soul in me. I was just hoping that no one will notice that I'm still alive and luckily he sent Narcissa to check whether I am really dead, she lied and said I was dead "  
 _You had part of Voldemort's soul inside of you for 16 years?!_   Thinking that was the only thing Remus could do. He was too shocked for anything else. But his wife and mother- in- law weren’t less shocked.  
 _How can you be such a nice person if you carry a part of Voldemort's soul within?_ Tonks asked herself.  
Andromeda looked suddenly very helpless. _Did he really just say that my sister basically saved us all? Why can’t the members of my family just do what I expect them to do?_

All were torn from their thoughts when Teddy awoke and called for attention. And while Remus got to take care of his son Harry tried to change the subject. However, he had no idea what he could talk and neither Tonks nor Andromeda seemed to have an idea.  
"Do you know, what’s with Teddy?" Said Harry, after he felt he was wondering 10 minutes if he really should ask that question.  
"Full Moon is in a week. So no. "Tonks said, after initial confusion, of which Harry was talking about. _Although I still believe that he did no inherit it.  
_ "Oh yes ... I forgot that is was just two weeks ago that I was at Shell Cottage."

As Remus came back with Teddy, he was a little confused from the fact that it was relatively quiet, but the confusion did not last a long time.  
He handed his son to Harry, saying: "Now do not look so surprised. You are his godfather so you need to now get used to him. After all, you have to expect that you should play the babysitter at some point."  
Harry took this idea is not really great, but it seemed as if Teddy feel comfortable with him, he decided to submit to this fate.

When he decided to go back three hours later, he found it obviously difficult to say goodbye to Teddy, what made the other three adults smile.


	6. Six

“I have no idea when I was that scarred about full moon the last time.“  
It was the night before full moon and Tonks and Remus were in bed. But sleeping was impossible, because Remus was rolling from one side to the other for half an hour now but still wasn’t able to find a comfortable sleeping position. That was caused by the fact that he was very worried.  
And Tonks just didn’t know what she could say to make him less worried so she remained silent.  
“I know you’re convinces that everything is going to be okay. But what if not? What if the werewolf-gene is inherited? Teddy is three weeks old. If I am right, it is highly unlikely that he survives-“  
“Remus?” his wife interrupted him. “Could you be so kind and stop talking. Please.” _Even though I seem to be convinced I am no less frightened than you. But I am not going to tell you this. For sure…_ “Thinking negative helps even less than thinking positive. And realistically, there is a 50-50 chance for both.”  
“Exactly.”                                           
“No not exactly. 50-50 means, it might be, but it is just as likely that it’s going to be okay.” _You just always assume the worst. You could at least try to think otherwise. Although… it’s probably better to assume the worst and then learn that it was wrong, than the other way around. But it would turn me crazy. And I should stop thinking about it. It isn’t good for me._ “And now I suggest that we’re trying to stop thinking about it for today and start sleeping.”  
“okay.” _But I will not promise that I am able to sleep._

* * *

 

"Promise me that you do not act rashly." It was the evening of the next day. Full Moon. Remus knew he had not much time but he found it incredibly difficult to go. Throughout the day, he was in anxiety and now he told Tonks for the umpteenth time, what he expected of her.  
"Promise."  
"And that you wait - no matter what happens - until you are completely sure that everything goes well. That means-"  
"I understand what that means, Remus. And I promise you. And In addition I swear that I will not hate you, if it turns out that you’re right."  
 _We'll see_ Remus thought before he gave his wife a last kiss and then went into the basement, where he spent his full-moon nights. 

Tonks sat down in front of Teddy's door and stared absently at the opposite wall when her mother came to her.  
"Do you like to have company?"  
Tonks shrugged her shoulders, but did not answer. Nevertheless her mother sat with her.  
"If you're interested, I do not think Teddy will be transformed. I do not know much about werewolves, but one thing I know for sure. You have to be bitten by an other werewolf , to become one. "  
"I know that too. The thing is, there is no werewolf who has children. And if so, then he had before he was turned into a werewolf. There is no evidence or documentation as to what happens when a werewolf gets kids after he himself was turned into a werewolf. And to be honest, I'm extremely worried that Remus is right. But I'm smart enough not to think about it in his presence. Mostly because I have no idea how Remus would react if he knew that I share his fears. "  
Thereupon mother and daughter were silent together. No one wanted to start a conversation.  

After about half an hour, Teddy woke up. Tonks froze.  
Could she keep her promise to Remus and not to rush over to her son?  
Andromeda looked at her daughter.  
"What? Are you going to do nothing?"  
"I promised Remus to not do anything rash, and I think to go in there now somehow counts as acting without thinking."  
"Well, then you can be glad that Remus hadn’t talked to me," Andromeda stood up opened the door and took her grandson out of his crib.  
"Hey, little man everything is okay. There is no need to cry. No one does anything to you. "  
Tonks stood in the door, still thinking about what to do, but she smiled.  
When she finally decided she had waited long enough, the clouds revealed the full moon.  
Tonks froze in her movement. The light just perfectly hit on her mother and Teddy. But nothing happened.  
Andromeda looked triumphantly at her daughter, who finally went to her and took her son from her mother.  
"Hey, Teddy bear. Are you okay? Everything's fine. You can’t imagine how happy I am right now. "  
"Then go to sleep."  
"What?"  
"Go to sleep. I take care of my grandchildren. For the rest of the night. And you go to sleep. And before eight I do not want to see you again. "  
"O-kay ..." Tonks was a little confused, but grateful at the same time even though she doubted that she could sleep when her son was not yet sleeping through the night. Nevertheless, she gave him her mom and went to her own bed.  
And once she had curled up there, she fell asleep.

* * *

 

As Remus came out of the basement the next morning, he looked worse than usual, at least, as far as Tonks could tell. However, this was probably because he usually spent more time to recover after the full moon.  
As soon as Tonks heard him, she looked up and greeted him with a beaming smile.  
"Nothing has happened?"  
Tonks shook her head. And before she knew what hit her, Remus had lifted her up and spun her in circles. After two rounds he put her down again, kissed her and ran, taking every other step into the room of his son.  
Tonks, who was somehow surprised by this reaction, followed him a short time later.

When she came in Teddy’s room, she found her husband standing at the cradle, and looking at his sleeping son. The smile on his face made him look younger by at least ten years.  
"Thanks," he whispered as Tonks stood beside him.  
"Every time," she replied slightly confused what made him grin.  
"I just can’t describe this feeling right now. You were right, I was wrong. And that makes me happy. "  
Remus turned to his wife and hugged her.  
"But I think I'm going to bed anyway. Full moon was worse than it was for a long time now. I love you. "  
He gave Tonks another kiss before he left the room where she stood with a grin.


	7. Seven

Another week had passed.  
Andromeda had gone back to work, so Remus and Tonks were alone with their son.  
Both were so fixated on Teddy, who was very pleased by the undivided attention, that they didn’t really notice anything else. That’s why they looked up startled when the doorbell rang.  
"Do we expect someone?" asked Tonks as she rose up from the ground.  
"Not as far as I know, but perhaps Harry missed his godson," Remus said, before he sat on the couch with Teddy.

But it was not Harry, who stood at the door, opened it as Tonks.  
"Minerva! How come you’re here? "  
"Oh, I just wanted to ask Remus something. May I come in?"  
"Of course," Tonks let her former professor to enter into the hallway. "Remus is sitting in the living room," she added as she closed the door. She had an idea what it was in this matter.  
 _Hopefully, Remus doesn’t refuse the offer. Assuming, I'm right_ she thought as she entered the living room

"I am going to ask directly. But perhaps anticipating the short notice that I am now Headmistress of Hogwarts. And since I was actually going to start the school year in September, I have to take care of a lot right now. And that's why I wanted to ask you if you had the interest to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts again."  
 _What?_ Remus looked at the elderly lady in surprise. _This is a joke, right? You can’t seriously mean what you just said._  
"I can’t"  
Minerva looked disappointed, but tried not to change his mind, "oh well"  
"What do you mean you can’t?" Tonks interjected.  
"Isn’t it obvious?"  
"No. Unless I became blind without noticing it. "  
"I do not think you understand what-"  
"No. YOU do not understand. Excuse us? "She asked turning to Minerva before she put her son in McGonagall’s arm and pulled Remus into the kitchen.

"Can you explain to me why you strike out this offer? As far as I've heard, you're by far the best teacher for this subject. "  
"It's not about how good or bad I am as a teacher. It's just not even the fact that I'm a werewolf," Tonks raised an eyebrow doubtfully. "The point is that I'm not here. From September to June. And-"  
"You seem to forget that there are more than just the summer holidays. You can’t really want to make me believe that you are not able to come home for Christmas. Aside from the fact that a week has weekends. "  
"Okay, then there are also weekends. That’s two days that I am here. Nevertheless, five days that I'm not here. And I don’t know, I think that I should be more here than elsewhere. I’m not mad that you think differently, but it feels not right“  
 _Being unemployed and feels better?_  Tonks thought, realized, however, that it was hopeless at the moment to discuss it further.  
She sighed. "I can’t force you, right? But anyway, it probably wouldn’t make sense, if you don’t feel comfortable there. "  
Remus smiled at his wife, and gratefully took her in his arms.

"My wife was not able to change my mind," Remus said as he took his son back to himself and sat down. Tonks looked apologetically at Minerva.  
"I heard," she smiled. "But I think I should add one more thing before you decide definitively. You're more aware that you can apparate, right? "  
"Yeah, but it is not possible to apparate at Hogwarts."  
"I know. But in Hogsmeade. And it's not that complicated to connect the fireplace of your office to the Floo Network. Meaning you’d be at home on the afternoons. Every day. But I am not the sort of people who do not know when it's hopeless. So I'll leave you alone now and find someone else. "  
While she was going to get up, the couple Lupin shared a look. Remus's questioning eyes met the approving gaze of his wife.  
"Minerva. It would be an honor to teach again. But only if you answer one more question. "  
"Feel free to ask," said the aforementioned, and you could tell she was relieved.  
"How do you imagine that next school year? The last one was so not really finished. "  
"Well, the seventh graders can choose whether they want to repeat this year or not. Kingsley said that he could possibly arrange to get them a job without having to finish the school. Since he is Minister of Magic that wouldn’t even be a problem. The fifth graders have to repeat the year however. Because they couldn’t take their OWL exams. And the rest is to be set free if they want to move to the next class, or want to repeat the last year. However, I hope somehow that most do not decide to repeat the year since at least the first year would otherwise be very crowded. But we'll see. Oh and I would give you the day after the full moon free, unless you feel able to teach."  
"That would mean, the students have to know that I am a werewolf. Do you honestly think that's all right? "  
"Well, those who were already at Hogwarts, as you have taught in 1993, the first time, know anyway. And although I have not talked with each and every one, but everyone I asked said, you were the best teacher they had. And they had had enough of comparison. The rest must come to terms with it. But now I think positive and since you’ve never, despite the fact that you're a werewolf, turned away from your friends and have helped to finally have that Voldemort was destroyed, I do not see any problems. And if it, against my expectations, shouldn’t work, then you've at least tried."  
"Okay. If you take the responsibility that I, if it works against your expectation, withdraw like last time, then I see no problems, either," grinned Remus, on which he got hit on his arm by his wife  
"We'll see," his new boss replied grinning. "Anyway, I'll now go back and see who I can adjust to teach Transfiguration and Muggle Studies. See you at the first of September to the feast. "  
Minerva McGonagall stood up and took her traveling cloak, and when Tonks had closed the door behind her, she disapparated.

Tonks turned to her husband  
"One question. When was the last time Minerva smiled like that? "  
Remus thought about that: "Never, I think."  
"Good. I can’t remember, either. "  
"It’s probably Teddy. There is not other explanation." Remus smiled  
He took his wife's hand and together they went back into the living room where their son was waiting for them.


	8. Eight

The next few weeks flew by. Remus was in high spirits, which infected the rest of the inhabitants of the house. Even the Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt noticed that, as he stood at the door on 10th June.  
"King," exclaimed Tonks, as she saw him. "What are you doing here? I did not expect you."  
"Why not? Are you expecting nobody? On your birthday?"  
"To be honest, no. Should I?"  
"Do not know. But anyway, I don’t have time much today. I just wanted to wish you 'Happy Birthday' and hand over my gift to you."  
"But how will you give me something, if you aren’t carrying anything with you?"  
"There is nothing substantive, that's why."  
“Oh alright. And how’s the work going?”  
"Let the man come inside, would you" Remus said to his wife with a grin.  
However, Kingsley found it not bad. He shook his head, grinning, as he hung is traveling coat on the wardrobe. Then he went into the living room.  
"But I would really want to know, too" Remus added, while he and his wife came into the living room to the Minister of Magic.  
He was still a little hesitant in the room.  
"You can sit anywhere you like," said Tonks.  
 So he sat down in one of two chairs and waited until Remus and Tonks sat on the couch, before he began to tell.

"It is more stressful than I expected it to be, to be honest. People constantly come to me complaining about something and I have to determine how important this is, or whether a modification is generally in accordance with the general population. I'm only happy that no one has complained about the fact that I've repealed the laws against werewolves. But actually I'm not here to complain about my problems at work. My real concern is to give Tonks her job back."  
At that moment, Teddy woke up and Remus left the two alone to take care of his son.

"King ... I have a six weeks old son. I cannot just go back to work."   
"I did not expect that from you. I was just interrupted. What I wanted to add is that I realize that you can’t immediately start again, or you just don’t want to. So I've decided you're going on maternity leave and begin the first of January next year. Actually, I thought from now on, 6 months, but to begin on 10th December, I personally found it somehow stupid."  
"That sounds like a good idea."  
"That’s what I thought, too" grinned the Minister of Magic. "You know I just thought I'll make you the head of the Auror department, and then it occurred to me that you're mother.  So Savage is now your superior and you will have, logically, a new partner."  
On Tonks' face was spread out a grin.  
"That means you take on my birthday present, huh? We then see us at least half a year. "  
"Yeah I doubt that. Unless you’re going to visit me on my first day back. "  
"Maybe that’s exactly what I wanted to do. Anyway I should go back. Throw myself into my never-ending work. Say hello to the rest of your family from me and whoever is showing up today."  
"I don’t really expect anyone," said Tonks, as she accompanied him to the door.  
"What? You don’t want to celebrate your birthday? Are you okay?"  
"Yes I'm fine. I just don’t want to."  
"Well if you say so. I've got to go anyway. Hope you have a great day anyway."  
With these words he turned on the spot and apparated back into the ministry.

"And when do you go back?" asked Remus his wife, as she came back in the living room look.  
"In January. Next year."  
"No, really? I thought this year in January,"Remus said with a grin, after which his wife gave him a meaningful look.  
"Oh, you're stupid."  
"I know"  
"Teddy, your daddy is a bad man Tell him that"  
"Hey. Don’t turn my son against me before he made his own opinion about me."  
"What's the point of trying to incite him against you, if he already made his own opinion about you? Then that's an impossible task."  
"This is already an impossible task," Remus said while Teddy is pressed against his chest. Then he turned to his son.  
"Do not listen to your Mummy. Whatever she tells you. Your Mummy is mean.”  
The last sentence causedTonks to give him a light tap on the arm, get up and make her way into the kitchen to help her mother.  
"Ouch. Teddy excuse me, I have to give your mummy a lesson," he said before he put his son in his playpen.  
Oh God, Mom, help me." Tonks tried to run the kitchen, but Remus was faster, held her and tickled his wife until they lay on the ground.  
"I surrender!" She cried breathlessly  
"Sure?"  
"Yes."  
"You are no longer trying to turn my son against me?"  
"I never tried to turn your son against you. Only ours. And I can’t promise you."  
Apparently that was the wrong answer, because her husband she continued tickling.  
"Okay, okay. I promise it, but please have mercy. "  
"Well I have to think about that," Remus grinned.  
"Merlin. How old are you? "Andromeda appeared in the living room door seemed to be really amused about her daughter and son-in-law.  
"38"  
"25 As of today"  
"Are you sure? Because you behave as if you’re 5. Are you going to tell me what are you doing? I never really took the floor comfortably."  
"We only remove our quarrels," said Remus as he stood up.  
"Well, if each of your quarrels end in that way I have no problem with that."  
With these words Andromeda disappeared into the kitchen. Remus held out a hand to his wife to help her up, but was withdrawn by her on the floor, where she kissed him.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too. But can we now please leave the ground?"  
"Yes please. I wanted to help my mum anyway. "  
"And I must tell my son about my victory."  
Tonks rolled her eyes, grinning as she got up and went into the kitchen.

* * *

When the doorbell rang at half past three, the three adults look at each other kind of irritated. No one expected anyone, and as Remus suggested someone might have come to Tonks’ birthday she refused to believe him, because that would be really unlikely.   
What has been acknowledged by her husband with raised eyebrows.  
So Tonks opened the door.

And was quite astonished when Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were standing in front of her.  
"Happy Birthday", it came from all four simultaneously, and Tonks was still standing there like paralyzed.  
After a few seconds she was able to respond  
"Hi. Why are you here? "  
"Because we have decided that we want to give you something for your birthday. And because we all want to see Teddy," said Harry.  
"Okay ... Teddy is even awake," Tonks was smiling while her four unexpected guests entered.

"Hello everyone"  
"Hi, Harry. What brings you here?"  
"My godson. The fact that my friends here, "he pointed to Ron, Hermione and Ginny, and got a glare from Ginny tossed," wanted to know Teddy. And Tonks' birthday gift."  
Tonks rolled her eyes  
"Seriously, Harry, I don’t need anything."  
"You get something nevertheless. One thing of us four. For you. Because we like you. Just take it and be happy."  
He handed her a small, flat, square package. With a questioning look Tonks opened the wrapping paper and when she realized what she was in the pack she looked at Harry with her mouth open.  
"Yes you saw right. Best-off album by 'the weird sisters'. And I said, you’re going to be  happy." Attached Harry while Tonks' grin grew wider and wider.

"Whatever. How are you?" Harry asked, turning to the rest  
"Right now, we couldn’t be better," said Andromeda.  
"You know already what are you doing now?" Tonks said after she joined her family on the couch.  
"I will accept the offer of Kingsley and start Auror training, rather than repeating the seventh grade," said Harry.  
"I'm going to Hogwarts for another year. What a surprise," Said Ginny, after a few seconds she spent looking at Teddy, who obviously felt well in her arms.  
"I'm going to repeat the year, but before I go to Australia with Ron to search my parents."  
"Why are your parents in Australia?" Remus asked Hermione.  
"It's a long story and it implies that I made my parents forget me and emigrate to Australia. But because the war is now over, I would like to undo the spell."  
"And when we are here again, I will begin Auror training. And you?" Ron looked expectantly at Remus and Tonks. And after he had asked the question, it seemed as if the other only just noticed that it was almost impossible to live without work.  
"I'm going back to Hogwarts and teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Until I decide to not want to teach anymore."  
"Hey, maybe I’ll repeat the year," Ron interjected, after which all began to laugh.  
"I'll stay at home for the rest of the year and then I go back work. What means," Tonks looked at Harry. "Be prepared to be babysitter from next year on."  
Harry nodded. "Love to, as long as one of those three are keeping me company."

The rest of the day went by faster than expected and before anyone noticed, the visitors were gone and the occupants of the house were sleeping calmly.


	9. Nine

Tonks ran through Hogwarts. She was in a hurry, trying desperately not to panic. What in the circumstances, that the stairs constantly changing their direction was rather difficult. Tonks had the feeling to be in areas of the castle, where she was not in all of her seven years at school once, which in itself was very unlikely.  
When she finally stood in the Entrance Hall, she tried in the tangle of people running around to locate her husband, Evading lost curses more than once.  
After she had searched the hall twice and could be sure that Remus was not here, she made her way to the front gate to get onto the grounds.  
Once there, she stopped and let her gaze wander. In her rose more and more panic and she tried to suppress this by thinking of other things. However, she managed that even less, and so she tried to concentrate to breathe calmly and to seek Remus.  
The problem was, however, that in her head all the possible scenarios that could have happened so far had been played. Just because he could not be found in the entrance hall, had not to be called so that he was on the grounds. Maybe in the time it took her from home up to this point he had already lost a duel...  
As she thought about it while trying to get the rising panic in the grip she spotted Remus, who dueled with Dolohov.  
Relieved that he still went well, she wanted to go to him and help him because it looked like he could use the help very well. But her legs failed her service.  
Renewed panic rose in her and at that moment she heard the malicious laughter of her aunt.  
Most of all she wanted to turn around and send every curse she knew on her neck, wiping the malicious laughter from her face, but to Tonks' horror not only her legs had failed her service, but also the rest of her body. And so she had to wait for her aunt to be condescended to stand before her, and watch with horror in how Dolohov slowly but surely won prevail in the duel with Remus.  
Bellatrix, however, had no intention in looking her niece into the eyes. She stood close behind her back, making a chill ran down Tonks’ spine, and whispered things in her ears, that Tonks could not understand. But she could imagine what was told her.  
After what felt like an eternity, Bellatrix said nothing and Tonks would have used this opportunity, if her body had done what she wanted.  
"Imperio," Tonks heard her aunt say and then she had the feeling of being able to move her body again. She knew, however, that she now really had no control over it.  
Bellatrix forced her to drop her wand, and although Tonks knew how she could fight off the Imperius curse, and usually was able to, she did what her aunt wanted. She let her wand drop to the floor and walked towards Remus and Dolohov. She hoped so much that Remus would not notice and not let Dolohov gain the upper hand, but she was disabused.  
Once they were within hearing distance, Bellatrix shouted something to the two duelists. Remus and Dolohov looked around confused until they found Tonks and her aunt. A spiteful grin grew on Dolohov’s face, while on Remus's face, shock, surprise, gratitude and disappointment struggled to gain the upper hand.  
This distraction made Dolohov for his benefit, and he struck Remus with a "Stupefy" in the chest, whereupon he was thrown backwards. Dolohov slowly walked towards the fallen Remus. Tonks wanted to look away. She knew what would happen now, but her aunt forced her to watch.  
"Avada Kedavra" said Dolohov and Bellatrix laughed.

Tonks opened her eyes. She was in her bed in her room in her house. She tried to hear the steady breathing of the sleeping Remus to calm down and be sure that it was only a dream. But there was nothing. Not a single sound was heard in this room and in her went wide panic. She turned around, hoping that he was awake and behaved as quietly as possible, in order not to awaken her. But the other half of the bed was empty.  
And although it was disheveled, because someone had slept in it, Tonks could not prevent the panic prevailed and she could not breathe properly. Desperate, she curled up into a ball.

* * *

  
Remus opened his sleepy eyes. For a brief moment he wondered what had woken him, then he heard a child crying. His son.  
How his wife was able to continue sleeping surprised him though, because so far, she always woke up, but he decided it was okay.  
He briefly glanced at Tonks and smiled. He could spend hours watching as her hair changed colours while she slept. And if he was lucky he was awake while Tonks was fast asleep, which made her natural hair colour come to light. What made her look very similar to her mother.  
But then he changed his mind and stood up and walked into the room of his son

"Hey, little man," he raised Teddy out of his crib. "Shhh, everything is okay. Daddy's here. What woke you up huh? Have you had a bad dream? Then start talking and you can tell me everything," but his son decided to not calm down, thus adding Remus. "Yes, I know I should not try to be funny."  
 _I only wish to know how I should be able to understand what exactly you want from me. I am definitely too tired to think clearly..._  
After a while of unsuccessful attempts to persuade his son to fall asleep again, Remus admitted to himself that he was not able to achieve it.  
Then he had another thought.  
"Or do you just want your mummy?" He sighed. "Then let's go over there."

When he came back into the bedroom, his wife was not found. At least for a short time. Then Remus noticed black hair that looked under the covers.  
 _Black? Why black? Black is not good..._  
As he approached, he also noted that she was not normal breathing.  
Worried, he knelt by the bed.

"Dora?"  
She froze. Was that really him?  
He threw the covers back.  
"What happened?"  
Tonks opened her mouth to reply but she couldn’t. Instead, she fell into his arms.  
Remus replied that hug a little confused, keen to not crush his son, whom he still held in his arms.

"I had a bad dream," Tonks brought out at some point. "From the 2nd May. And things, that didn’t happen. But you weren’t here when I woke up, and for a while I thought it was true after all. "  
 _Oh Dora_ Remus didn’t know exactly what his wife had dreamed, but he had a clue.  
"I'm sorry. Teddy had probably bad dreams too, no idea. In any case, he was awake. That’s why I wasn’t here."  
Remus kissed her head  
"Oh, and he wanted to his mum, I think," he added, handing Teddy over to Tonks and also went to bed.

"And what do you want from me now?" Tonks asked her son. "Are you hungry?"  
"Nope. At least not five minutes ago. He only didn’t want to sleep. "  
"Well, that’s bad. Now he has apparently decided to be hungry. "  
Unfortunately, Remus did not come up with a powerful answer, so he only threw a half amused, half angry look at Tonks as she nursed Teddy.

"You're stupid," his reaction was about five minutes later.  
Tonks looked at him. Now back with bubblegum-pink hair.  
"Wow, what a quick response," she said with a grin. "Do you have a problem if he stays here tonight?" She added, after Teddy had finally fallen asleep again.  
"Not at all".

Tonks, with her son on her arms then snuggled up to her husband, who placed his chin on her head and had his arm around his son.


	10. Ten

Somewhat more than a month later, on 15 July 1998 at 9 o `clock at morning to be exact, Remus Lupin watched his sleeping wife.  
And as so often he wondered how he had earned this life actually. Uttering these thoughts aloud, he dared not, for there had been too many discussions that had always ended with the fact that had to admit: Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin was right, or at least had convincing arguments.  
And yet, he still couldn’t understand what had caused this wonderful young witch to see past the age difference and the prejudices of society.

For his sake, he could sit for hours in bed and watch Tonks while she was sleeping. First, it was just a wonderful sight to see the love of his life sleeping so peacefully. Secondly, he loved to guess what kind of dreams she had more or less readable at the colour of their hair, on which she had absolutely no influence in the sleep.  
Until now said hair was brown - not as a dull brown as it was just over a year ago when he had not want to accept how much he needed this woman. And how much she needed him. No, a dark brown, her natural hair color, so damn similar to her mum’s hair - but now the color changed into a light red, which meant that she awoke from her deep sleep. Not necessarily completely awoke but definitely at the stage where it was easier to wake someone.

And while Remus’s thoughts slowly but surely drifted off, Tonks woke up. But had no desire to open her eyes. It was nice to just lie there and listen to the silence, without giving other people a direct indication that one was awake.  
However, she could not help but notice that she was being watched, and she was not really sure if she should like it or not.

A sigh and Remus startled out of his thoughts.  
"You should stop watching me when I’m sleeping", there was a smile in her voice heard, what meant she couldn’t be that angry about it.  
"As if you'd never do that," countered Remus.  
"When do I ever get the chance to watch you when you’re sleeping?"  
"After a full moon."  
This comment made Tonks speechless for a while.  
"Okay well yes, but" she finally said  before she had collected her thoughts properly and continued, "but once a month, and almost always is a difference. Moreover, it is relaxing to sit and watch you sleeping. "  
"Relaxing?"  
"Yes. Because you when you sleep, you look as if nothing could do anything to you. You are somehow totally relaxed. And it's just nice to know that you're not constantly thinking about everything. "  
"And now you want me to say that it's not relaxing to sit and watch you sleeping. Because all I can assure is, it's relaxing. "  
"Hmmm if you say," and Dora closed her eyes and snuggled up to her husband, who gave her a kiss on the head.

A few minutes later she opened her eyes again.  
"Today is the 15th July, "she stated shocked.  
"I know."  
"And you did not mention it because ...?"  
"Do not know. Was waiting that you notice. "Remus said innocently.  
"Oh that’s ... that's really nice of you," said Dora, as she looked at Remus, who grinned mischievously. "Oh you're stupid," she added then.  
"And yet you've been married with me for a year now."  
"I find it much more fascinating that you've made it work a year with me, to be honest."  
Remus raised an eyebrow.  
"I wouldn’t want to trade places with anyone. This year was ... I do not know how to explain it now. I was happy, as I haven’t been for a long time. And it’s your fault. So - "But he could not talk further because Tonks shut his mouth with a kiss.

"Are we going to do anything today," Dora asked, after she had parted from him.  
"Yes."  
"And what?"  
"Do you honestly believe, I'll tell you now?"  
"Well, it would at least be nice of you."  
"But why should I tell you anything. I mean, Ow. "Remus looked accusingly at his wife, who had just struck him lightly on the arm. "I would find it quite nice, if you could not do that. Or at least my arm would find it nice. You know an arm also has feelings. And should there be a day when I cannot move it, you're to blame. "  
Remus tried to keep a straight face, but the face of Dora was too amusing. It took her a while to respond to that. Her reaction consisted of shaking her head and looking away. However, the looking away did not prevent that she started to laugh. 

* * *

 

Ten hours later, Tonks still had no idea what exactly Remus was planning. She only knew that he was waiting for her to get ready. What she actually was, but she had wanted to stop by at Teddy, who was sleeping calmly. This was obviously one of her not that good ideas, because now she had difficulty separating from the sight.

"Hey," Tonks flinched when she heard Remus' voice. "Sorry. I didn’t want to scare you,” he added, while he walked towards her.  
When he was with her, he put his arms around her waist and his head on her shoulder. They stood as further 2 minutes until Remus rose is voice once more.  
"If we don’t want to be late, we have to go now," he said quietly enough not to wake his son.  
Tonks sighed before she gave an approving noise.  
"I think it would still be better if you told me, where we’re going," Dora said, as she let go of the embrace and headed for the hallway.  
Casting a last look at his son, Remus followed his wife outside and closed the door behind him.  
"Then it would be no surprise," he said, smiling, after which Tonks rolled her eyes  
 _As great as surprises are, sometimes I they’re just annoying._

"And how do we get there?" Tonks wanted to know as soon as they were at the bottom of the stairs.  
"Well what do you think?"  
Tonks shrugged. "Walking would be a possibility."  
“Yes but no. Side-on-side apparation goes faster. Also, I think you should not walk with your eyes closed, what you would have to do, so you don’t know in advance where we're going. "  
"Oh, ha ha," Tonks laughed dryly, Remus grinned.  
"I'm just worried about your safety."

"You should go, otherwise you're too late." Andromeda stood in the doorway to the living room and watched the scene that presented itself with amusement. "I was just saying," she said, as her daughter gave her a meaningful look.  
They said good-bye to Andromeda, who told them to enjoy the evening, and disapparated.


	11. eleven

Tonks opened her eyes and looked around. She blinked a few times before she turned back to Remus.  
“We are in our garden,” she said.  
“I know.”  
“ ‘If we don’t want to be late, we should go now’ you said ‘Walking takes too much time’ you said.”  
“Well I could hardly say ‘Yeah sure we can walk. Go ahead. Through the living room and straight’ it would have spoiled the surprise. And if I hadn’t said anything about being late, you would have guessed sooner” Remus tried to explain. “Besides, I didn’t say ‘Walking takes too much time’ but ‘Apparating is faster’ and you cannot deny that.” Remus added, whereupon Dora only could shake her head. What could she say anyway?

“I just don’t understand” she turned around in one circle. “Why?” she turned back to Remus. “Why the garden and not a restaurant or just don’t do anything at all?”  
“I know how hard it is for you to leave Teddy out of sight for longer than a few hours, let alone not being in the same room. But it is our first wedding anniversary and I wanted to do something. Just the two of us. Because too much time has passed since we’ve been really alone. And if we were in a restaurant, you’d worry the whole evening. Even though you know that your mum is very well able to take care of our son. And I admit it wouldn’t be easy for me either. But if you think it was a bad idea then-“  
He was not able to continue, because Tonks interrupted him with a kiss. However Remus was not able to respond as she let go just after a few moments.  
“I say this is one of your best ideas,” she said with a warm smile. “I’m just a bit overwhelmed” she added before entangling Remus in another kiss, he replied only too happily.

A few minutes later they broke apart, mostly due to the lack of oxygen. None of them said a word. They just stood there silently in an embrace. Forehead resting on forehead. Smiling. In their own world.  
Until Remus's stomach growled and both awoke from their trance-like state.  
"It almost sounds as if you’re hungry," Tonks laughed.  
"It seems so," Remus agreed.  
And while Dora wondered where they would eat, because she had seen nothing of the sort, as she had looked around, Remus took her hand and led her to the only tree in the garden. Dora had overlooked it more or less, as it stood behind Remus.  
"Hmm, a picnic", recognized her as they stood in front of the blanket spread on the ground. "So I can assume you’re not serving me a 5-star meal?" She asked teasingly, earning an angry glare for it.  
However, Remus knew that she was only joking and he was neither able nor did he want to be angry long, so he just shook his head, said, "Correct," and sat down.  
A few seconds later his wife was sitting next to him.

* * *

Andromeda stood at the window of her grandson and watched his parents. Actually, she hadn’t intended to, she knew that she would be depressed by it. But then, about two hours after his parents had left, Teddy had asked for attention. To calm him lasted fortunately not too long. Although Andromeda feared briefly that she had to interrupt her daughter and son-in-law.

But that was half an hour ago, and for 10 minutes Teddy slept again. Andromeda had wanted to go back into the living room and read continue reading her book, as the laughter of her daughter made her look outside.  
Tonks was lying on her back, her feet on the swing, which her dad had put up at least twenty years ago there. Remus was based on his left arm at a 90° angle to his wife, which he concealed from the gaze of her mother. Although neither noticed.  
It seemed as if they talked about something amusing, however, everything Andromeda could see were the gesticulating arms of her daughter. Sighing, she turned away from the window and left the room on tiptoes.

* * *

"You know what I never dared to dream?" Remus asked at some point thoughtful, what led Tonks to stop swinging the swing back and forth with her feet. Instead, she leaned her head back to look at Remus.  
"I've got the feeling you mean this," she said at last, as she made a sweeping motion with her arms. "However, it is hard for me to believe that you've never thought or dreamed of anything like this or what else."  
"Yes, but I mean, I kind of forbid me to these thoughts simply because it seemed impossible. And sometimes I still have a hard time to accept that it has never bothered you what the society thought. And before you interrupt me, I wanted to mention that I'm grateful that I have you. "  
A smile spread over Dora's face, just before Remus leaned over her and kissed her.

"I love you," he whispered, after they let go of each other again.  
"I love you more," said his wife, making him smile.  
"That's not possible."  
"Want to bet?"  
"I don’t bet with you."  
"So you admit it."  
"That I did not say," Remus said as he turned over on his back, folded his arms behind his head and looked into the sky.  
"What do you mean then?" Asked Tonks, but she got no answer. "You're so stubborn," she grumbled, what made Remus laugh.  
"And yet I have made you accept Minerva's offer," she added proudly ignoring Remus' laughter.

Remus smiled. That it was not just her own doig, that he had accepted Minerva's offer, she knew as well as he. However, he would not point it out now.  
"You know," he said instead. "If it was dark now, we could-"  
"Did you now just change the subject?" Dora interrupted him.  
"Um, yes ... do you have a problem with that?"  
"Hmmmm no. What were you going to say? "  
Remus rolled his eyes briefly, what Tonks fortunately did not notice, before he answered.  
"If it was dark now, we could look at the stars."  
"Too bad we were married in July," the Metamorphmagus replied jokingly.  
"I never said anything against July. I just wanted to mention that it would be somehow fitting ", justified Remus.

He did not get an answer and although it didn’t need an answer, he wondered why he didn’t get one.  
“Dora?” he turned to his wife, who looked absently into the sky. “What are you thinking about right now?”  
Without a word she changed her position to lie next to Remus, before she sighed.  
“A lot of things” she finally said, putting her hand on his chest.  
While Remus was still wondering whether he should ask her what exactly she thought about, she already continued talking.  
“I was wondering if it wouldn’t be – ” _better? Intelligent? Appropriate? Maybe I should have thought about a word before_  she interrupted herself.  
“If it wouldn’t be what?”  
“If it wouldn’t be better to move out.”  
“What made you think about that?” Remus asked surprised, but only got a shrug as a respond so far.

“I don’t know. It’s just every time I look at my mum she seems depressed. And I know it is because dad – ” Dora interrupted herself once more. Just thinking about it hurt. Talking about it was impossible. “It’s just that I think to myself, if we live here longer then it’s going to be contra productive.”  
“And you believe your mum would be happier alone?”  
“Not really”, Tonks admitted. “But you wanted to know what I thought about, so I told you. Although I have to say: the longer I think about it, the more I think it would be a very bad idea. But it would be nice to not expect every day that Dad suddenly walks through door only to realize then that it's impossible."  
Tonks wanted to continue talking. She wanted to tell Remus, what she thought about day after day. Because it felt good, even though it hurt. But it was impossible. She didn’t get out any other word. Therefore she only pressed her face against Remus's ribs and remained silent

“I’m sorry”, Tonks mumbled a few minutes later and sat up.  
“You’re sorry for what?” Remus wanted to know, even though he had a clue what his wife wanted to say.  
She looked at him questioning, while he propped up on his forearms.  
“I’m sorry for messing up this evening”, she said barely audible.  
Remus sat up completely, took her face in his hands and wiped his thumb across her cheeks to get rid of the scattered traces of tears.  
“You don’t have to be sorry”, he assured her looking in her eyes. “Personally I am happy that you finally decided to talk to me about that, after rejecting every attempt of me. I know you miss your dad, and I know that it hurts, and I also know that there’s not much I can do. But I know as well that I am going to try everything to make it easier.”  
A weak smile crossed Dora’s face, while Remus talked and as he ended, he returned that smile.

“Just the fact that you’re with me makes this day wonderful. I just want you to know that I am happy and right now it is impossible to change anything about it.”  
During Remus’s speech, Tonks realized how right he was. It didn’t matter that she thought about her dad and just wanted to start crying. It wouldn’t have changed anything had they been in a restaurant. Everything that was important, was that they were together. Just Remus and Dora. No one else.

_How much love can a person stand without their heart bursting with happiness?_ – she thought once more.  
Dora raiseds her hand and brushed her fingers through Remus’s hair.  
Just for a tiny moment Remus eyes traveled from Dora’s eyes to her lips, making him rest his forehead against hers.  
“I love you”, he whispered before his lips met hers.


	12. twelve

A few days later, when Tonks woke up, she was alone in their bedroom. Slightly confused she got up. For a few moments she was not able to explain herself why Remus wasn't there. But then, with a look at the clock, she realized, Teddy must have woken up again and Remus decided to not wake her up.  
After changing from her pyjamas into normal clothes she walked downstairs. And when she stood in the doorframe to the living room a smile appeared on her face. Remus and Teddy were lying on a blanket on the floor and just looking at each other. Though Teddy looked away every few moments until Remus made a gesture or a noise to gain back his attention for another time.  
Tonks leaned her head against the door frame and watched them without thinking about anything. Completely caught in the picture in front of her she didn't notice the arriving owl, nor her mum walking into the living room to get the letter.  
"He looks younger."  
Tonks nearly jumped, when she heard her mum. What Andromeda had said she couldn't tell so she just shook her head and looked at her in confusion.  
"Maybe I am just imagining but it seems as if he's younger." Andromeda explained, and after looking at her daughter she gestured with her head towards Remus.  
Tonks smiled and nodded, making an agreeing sound. She had noticed that as well. In the beginning she feared it might not last long but as the months went on Remus got a lot happier and she knew that was what made him look younger in the first place.

Tonks' eyes went back watching the two most important people in her live. But just as she decided to join them, her mum started talking again.  
"By the way, you've got a letter."  
Tonks looked back at her mother, a questioning look on her face.  
"Just a few minutes ago. Apparently you ignored the owl. It's from Harry", Andromeda handed her daughter the letter.  
Wondering, why Harry would send them a letter, when he could just drop by whenever he wanted, the pink-haired woman opened the letter and read it.  
As her eyes travelled down a smile appeared on her lips. She looked up again, meeting the look of her mother, who was now the one with the questioning look.  
"It's an invitation for his birthday", Dora told her but as she was going to tell her mum, that she was invited as well she got interrupted by Teddy's laugh and turned around to see what happened there. Remus had decided to poke his son's nose and obviously the little metamorphmagus enjoyed that very much.  
Forgetting what she wanted to tell her mum, Tonks walked to Remus and Teddy and sat down on the blanket to tell Remus about the invitation.

* * *

"Remus, what's wrong?"  
It has turned evening and Dora sat on the bed breastfeeding her son, while Remus was walking around the room seeming rather undetermined.  
"I don't know" he admitted finally sitting down on the edge of the bed."it just feels weird to celebrate something right now, don't you think?"  
Tonks raised her eyes to look at Remus, thinking about what would be the best answer to give right now.  
"Not exactly I think we have every right to celebrate something." She said, "But it feels weird visiting the Weasleys and knowing that Fred won't be there"  
At the end of her sentence she looked away and her eyes fell on her son in her arms. The one person that could make her happy simply by existing.  
Remus turned around and climbed on the bed to sit next to his wife and took her in his arms, kissing her on the temple.  
A single tear slipped and fell on Teddy's cheek, who was curiously watching his mum. Tonks put him on her shoulder to burp him, and nestled her face in his tiny body trying to take in his smell. And all Remus could do in this moment was watch helplessly, knowing that she didn't want him try to comfort her yet.  
When they were done Remus took Teddy and put him in his cradle before coming back to his wife, who pulled her legs to her chest looking as fragile as never before.  
"I was wondering if thinking about Fred is as bad for Molly as thinking about my dad is for me but I think it' worse" she said looking at her knees.  
With one step Remus was at the bed and hugged his wife tightly. She clung on his shirt telling him something he couldn't understand completely but he knew it was about her dad.  
They sat like that for half an hour until Tonks finally looked up from Remus's chest into his eyes. He kissed her forehead and a tiny smile appeared on her face when she took a deep breath.

* * *

When they arrived at the Weasley's a week later they were greeted rather happily by everyone. Yet no one was as happy as they used to be, what none of them surprised.  
As Molly saw Teddy her face lightened up and Tonks put the baby in her arms. And the smile on her face grew even wider when Teddy's hair turned ginger, copying the ginger people around him.  
They sat down at the table, that was set up in the garden, while everyone tried to have a better look at Teddy.  
And as he was on Percy's arms his hair turned turquoise, making him look shocked at Remus and Tonks.  
"He feels comfortable that’s all" Remus told him with a smile.  
"But it's Perce" interrupted George confused. "I don't understand how you can feel comfortable around him more than around mum."  
"Oh ha ha very funny"  
"But you have to admit I am right. Or can you name one child that felt comfortable around you?"  
Percy shot George an unfriendly look.

  
"So Percy, what's going on in the ministry?" Tonks asked him in an attempt to change the subject.  
"I don't work at the Ministry anymore." he told her, causing a surprised look to appear on her face.  
"Really? Why? When? What are you doing all day long?"  
"Yes really" Percy smiled. "I quit a few months ago, after I realized how stupid I have been and I thought I needed space from the Ministry so now I am working in a Muggle shop in Ottery St. Catchpole."  
"He fancies his co-worker" George told Tonks with a serious look on his face.  
"First of all, her name is Audrey. And second of all: I do not fancy her" Percy shot back in annoyance just as if that was a subject they discussed not for the first time.  
"Alright you do not fancy her. Do you want to tell me what you do there?" asked Tonks with a smile trying to prevent this scene to go horribly wrong.  
And Percy started talking about his job. How boring it sometimes was but actually he kind of liked that it was completely different than at the Ministry. And then he changed the subject and told them about Audrey, more than Tonks actually wanted to know. But he didn't seem to notice this.  
Tonks and George shared a look and she just couldn't help but grin. _Right. You do not fancy her. Keep yourself telling that_ she thought knowing that George thought the same.

And the day ended far too fast, in the meantime Teddy became hungry and started to cry, making Percy wonder what he did wrong, whereupon Remus assured him that his son was just hungry and Dora went inside to feed him.  
After that he slept in his Baby carriage while the adults continued chatting about the things that happened the past few months.  
While Tonks listened to Ron and Hermione's experiences from Australia, Percy joined the conversation of Remus and Bill about Kingsley being Minister of Magic. On the other end of the table, Andromeda had a serious conversation with Molly and Fleur, while George changed his place to sit between his dad and Harry. Harry seemed rather unhappy about the subject of the conversation.


	13. thirteen

Not much happened in August. Tonks and Remus spent most their time with Teddy, who definitely enjoyed the attention he got. Though it made Remus wonder how it would be when he started working again in September. Would his son miss him? Would he think he loved him less because he wasn't home all day anymore? Part of him knew these thoughts were ridiculous yet he couldn't stop thinking about it. And as September came nearer Tonks noticed a change in his behaviour, even though he tried to hide it.  
Thus when a letter from Hogwarts arrived giving him his final instructions for the coming year, he wasn't as excited as he thought he'd be when he accepted the job offer in may.

"Good morning" Dora greeted her husband when she arrived in the kitchen with Teddy. Remus however didn't even notice her arrival. "Are you alright?" she asked with concern in her voice. Yes, Remus was often more the quiet person, but she had noticed a slight change in his mood over the past days and for some reason she feared he might get a wrong idea in his head.  
She sat down on the chair next to him, putting teddy on her lap and looking at her husband, who finally seemed to notice that he wasn't alone anymore.  
"Everything is fine" he said but knew Tonks wouldn't believe it. She just knew him too well and the look she gave him told him he was right. "Got a letter from Hogwarts."  
"And this is bad?" Dora asked trying to find out what  bothered him  
"No... well I don't know actually not but maybe" he rambled and Dora, even though she was sort of concerned, couldn't suppress a grin appearing on her face. "I am not going to be home all day anymore, and of course that was clear before but it gets more real somehow right now. And I have to take a nightshift once in a while and I am not sure if I am willing to do that..."  
"You mean I am not able to survive a night without you?" Tonks asked.  
"You know perfectly well that that is not what I meant" he responded  
"Okay so there's more than one night per month when you're not home. And yes that might not be what you want but I think considering the fact that you do what you want to do like every day now I think it is okay" his wife told him. And he knew she was right. 

* * *

  
Having that settled Remus didn't entirely stop worrying but he managed to keep his worries under control during the last week of august.  
Though on the night of august 31st he seemed unable to sleep. All he wanted was his thoughts about anything that could possibly go wrong to shut up but they didn't. In fact they grew louder each passing minute. As Tonks didn't seem to wake up anytime soon and the clock told him that it was nearly 2am he decided to get up and try something else to calm his mind. So he went into his son's room and just looked at the sleeping boy whose hair changed from time to time probably adjusting to his dreams.

How long he stood there he couldn't say but it sure helped calm him down. half an hour had passed without him noticing when a sleepy Tonks appeared in the doorway.  
"What are you doing?" she whispered while walking into the room to stop behind her husband who turned around shrugging.  
"Trying to calm down and be able to sleep" Remus said whereupon Tonks gave him a questioning look. "I mean I try not to think about it but what if something goes wrong again and it ends like it did last time?" after a few seconds of wondering what exactly Remus was talking about Tonks took one more step to close the remaining distance between the both of them and made him look at her.   
"It's going to be okay. You are a great person. A great teacher and people know that. Times have changed since last time. And should it unexpectedly end like last time then I am still here and I will not go anywhere."  
Remus smiled at Dora, bowed his head and kissed her. 

* * *

 

"If you don't leave now you'll be late at the feast" Tonks reminded her husband the next day. They stood in front of their fireplace but Remus hesitated to leave his family. "Yep" Remus said while caressing his son's cheek. He sighed, kissed his son's hair, which matched his hair colour, and then took Dora's face in his hands to kiss her properly.   
"Just leave already" Tonks laughed, nearly pushing him in the fireplace. And with a last glance to his family waving good bye (Tonks whispering "say bye-bye, daddy" in her son's ear), he took some floo-powder, tossed it in the flames said "Hogwarts" and vanished in the green flames.  
"So what are we going to do now, huh?" the Metamorphmagus asked her son, who leaned his head against her shoulder, closing his eyes. "Ah sleeping. What a great idea."

Tonks put Teddy in his cot and then walked downstairs again. It felt odd being alone. Her mum was working and she couldn't recall a time where she was actually alone in the house besides the sleeping infant upstairs. So she took one of Remus' books and read for about 10 minutes until the silence of the house made her grow restless. She prepared some dinner for herself, wishing she could be at the feast at Hogwarts right now and rocked her crying son back to sleep when he woke up. And while waiting for Remus to return she fell asleep on the couch.

* * *

 

Remus stepped out of the Fireplace in his office at Hogwarts, brushed some ash from his cloak and made his way to the Great Hall.  
He was the last of the teaching staff to arrive, apart from Hagrid, who was at the train station to greet the first-class students, and saw some people who he didn't recognise but thought to be the new Professors for this year.

  
"I feared you might turn up late and give a bad example to the students" McGonagall greeted him.  
"Well.... I had some trouble getting ready to leave", Remus admitted.  
"Either way, the students will arrive soon, so please take your seat at the table."  
Remus nodded and took a seat on the right of professor Slughorn who greeted him with a warm smile. On his right sat one of the new Professors but before either of them could starts a conversation the voices of hundreds of teenagers grew louder and the Hogwarts students arrived. Remus noticed Hermione in a conversation with Ginny and Luna, who had to leave them to take her seat at the Ravenclaw-table. In fact he had supposed that more would take the opportunity to leave school but apparently Auror-training wasn't as popular as he thought. Soon after the students sat down Hagrid arrived, gave him a huge smile and sat down at the other end of the table.

After the new students were sorted in their houses and the sorting Hat was carried out of the Great Hall again, McGonagall stood up.  
"I know you all probably want to eat something rather than listening to me but give me some minutes to properly welcome you to a new year at Hogwarts. The past few months have been difficult for everyone. Some of you had to decide, whether to re-take the year or not. Some of didn't get to decide what you probably thought not fair but we will try our best to let this year at Hogwarts go as normal as possible for you. And with that I want to introduce our new members of staff. As your Professor for Transfiguration, replacing me, Professor Dhalmer."  
The guy next to Remus waved with his hand.  
"For Muggle studies you will have Professor O’Donell"  
The woman next to Hagrid stood up, which made some people chuckle, as it was barely noticeable next to the half giant.  
"And last but not least returning to Hogwarts to take his former position Professor Lupin for Defence against the Dark Arts."  
And most of the people in 6th and 7th year started cheering, what made Remus smile and realise how much he had missed working at Hogwarts.  
"And now-"McGonagall raised her voice again "I won't say more but: Eat up!" and the plates in front of the students and teachers filled with food.


End file.
